and every lock that ain't locked when no one's around

This weekend, bicycling down an alley that I know well and hit often, I happen to notice that a big, always-locked dumpster for some reason today isn't. Climbing up over the top edge and in I discover...well...I'll try to keep this short: an electric edger, a pitchfork (new), a power poll saw (new), a four foot level, woodworker's clamps, locks with keys (new), a table vice, a cold chisel, storage hooks, paint brushes (new), parts cabinets, and more tools and parts than I'll bother to list. Oh yeah, and a garbage bag full of expensive men's clothes--some of which actually fit me--and many of which themselves seem to be new, since the store tags are also loose in the garbage bag.

No phone, no pool, no pets.